#3 Burke United Methodist Church

Now you are all caught up. This third venture aspired today, Feb. 21st, the same day I finally started this blog. We went to Burke United Methodist, in, you guessed it, Burke. "The one on the way to Walmart," as my mother referred to it upon finding out where I was headed.

I was pleased to discover Rachel had Stained Glass Masquerade on her i-pod and was still humming it in my head when we walked into what I would soon discover was the perfect example of a stained glass masquerade. We walked into the high-ceiling sanctuary and were handed massive programs by a boyscout who gave us a nod and cordially greeted us with an indifferent, "What up?" This was to be the highlight of today's experience. A girl in a long white robe holding a candle came down the aisle for what must have been "bringing the light into the sanctuary," according to the program. She was followed by a man and woman in long robes adorned with colorful scarf-type things. The candles were lit while a funeral dirge sounding song was played. Then came the call to worship which was written in the program and went like this:

Leader: "O people, worship the Lord! God is the One who sustains life."
People:(in monotone, almost robotic voices) "We sing praise to God our refuge."
Leader: "There is no place we can go where God is not."
People: "Amid all of our anxieties and fears, God's promises hold firm."
Leader: "No one lives by bread alone."
People: "The grace of the Lord is with us now. Thanks be to God!" (Trust me, there was no exclamation on the end of that sentence when spoken.)

Now that I type this out I see the words are certainly true, but when you're saying them in rhythm with everyone and being stared down by a man in a robe, its hard to think about the meaning for some reason. Next came a hymn called, "Sunday's Palms Are Wednesday's Ashes." Its main theme seemed to be how, as the song actually said, "we have failed." And as Rachel said, it was downright depressing.

Much to my scroogey distaste there was a stand-and-greet-your-neighbor time. But I put on a big smile (thank you coffee) and it was returned with other big smiles and "so glad your heres." We were then informed by robe man that the 18 elementary aged children of the church had baked cure-for-cancer cookies, today was Scout Sunday, and the congregation was trying to raise money for mentally challenged adults that needed help. Not bad, for people who have apparently failed. But hey, by faith and not by works we have been saved right? Though these guys ain't lacking in the works department.

Then came another prayer. I honestly lost track of how many times we prayed, and I could never figure out if he was praying or preaching. Also, throughout the entire service everyone would suddenly say in unison, "Thanks be to God! Amen." I never did figure out what the secret que for this was. I won't mention each time we prayed; just understand it was alot. Rachel particularly didn't like the robe woman's prayer - it had a lot of thees and thous. Rachel's response to this was sensibly, "Are you kidding me?" Also at one point one of the prayers merged into The Lord's Prayer, cuz suddenly I knew what they were saying. Yay AWANAS.

"Joys and Concerns" is what the program called the next segment. People in the congregation would share either a joy or concern with everyone. Only two joys were shared. This was a nice idea, but I think that sort of thing should be saved for small groups. I could not imagine standing up there and announcing, "Welp, this week I f'd up, but it's ok cuz God forgives so hallelujah!" and not be judged. And anyway, I'm pretty sure they don't have a response to that in their program.

Ok, maybe I'm being harsh. I am sure some people adore having a routine to follow each week. Perhaps its comforting and helps them feel secure? Personally I had enough right after the Miss America worthy pastor prayed for world peace AGAIN. I was also slightly disturbed by what was called, "children's time." All the children in the sanctuary came forward and had a mini Sunday school lesson in front of everyone. A lady who immediately became Mrs. Rodgers in my mind told them how we need special vision to see peoples' hearts and the story of Samuel. Her voice oozed in the way only adults can when trying too hard to talk to kids. The kids then repeated a prayer after her, asking God to give them special vision and be good.

This is a wonderful thing to teach them, of course. But why right then? Immediately after, they left for "Children's Church." So why not teach them then? It had quite the performance feel. They all looked so angelic and attentive as they listened. Were they really listening? Or thinking about how good waffles are, and if they shoved their fist in Mrs. Rodgers mouth would that smile still be plastered there? Are these children simply more pure-minded and focused then I can ever hope to be?

I wrote "Frightening" in the notebook I brought with me titled, "Church, for lack of a better title." Then feared the people behind me might be able to read it, so I flipped the page and wrote Rachel a note saying, "These people need to listen to Stained Glass Masquerade, methinks." She nodded. Throughout the service her pretty, almond shaped, almost Asian-looking eyes would actually get very wide. But takes one to know one. I'm sure I constantly looked equivalent to a deer caught in the headlights. We did both enjoy the part when a hefty man with a mustache belted out "The Gospel of Grace," which was a snazzy Amazing Grace update remix. The offering plates were gold, and Rachel and I recalled New Hope had pails, which we preferred.

As for the sermon, it was called, "Three Temptations." I have several pages of notes in my notebook on it, however I am not sure of it's point. This one was about as unclear as First Baptist's was clear. We weren't sure what he was getting at; everything robe man said made sense, but it was all very floaty. I was never able to really grasp anything. He talked about a hands-off life, but I couldn't figure out if he was for or against it. One page in my notebook says, "Robe man says reason for church is to make better people out of everyone, rich and poor alike. It is during worship here you are reminded how to be content, be right with God. I am not readily agreeing with this exactly." Written right after that is, "I am terrified to sneeze at this moment."

After more prayers and questions to ponder (don't worry, unindividuals, the answers were of course written in the program) the girl took the candle out and it was time to go. The program claimed, "We warmly welcome our first time visitors. We would like to present you with a gift and ask that you please introduce yourselves to the pastors before you leave." I had no intention to do this at first, but Rachel seemed to be for it and kept pointing to the word "gift" and, anyway, more adventure. We stood awkwardly in the reception hall, and then realized we were unintentionally already in a line to shake the robe man's hand. He was very friendly, asked us our names, and where we go to school. The gift was a canvas bag that says, "Caring For God's Creation At Burke United Methodist Church." He said it was to help us be green. This I liked very much, and practically doubled their points. As we said our goodbyes and thank yous to him, I had to catch myself from saying, "I enjoyed it." Because that would be a lie and lying in church, well, so not cool. I instead said, "It was very interesting," in a positive voice.

I meant it too. It was very interesting, in a good way. I would NEVER want to attend a church like this, but this has been my favorite venture so far, if only because it's so very different. I love different. Which is also why I could not regularly attend. I do still want to know what a Doxology is, though. Hurray for Wikipedia.

Rachel's Notes:
. Has a lot of outgoing ministries
. Seems like a family
. What is the Methodist church?
. Is the youth active?
. Are these people real?
. Worship wasn't moving
. Seems a lil like a cult. I guess all that reciting stuff isn't bad, I'd just get sick of the routine. (Sally readily agrees with this)
. Like the singin guy
. Like the sanctuary


http://www.burkeumc.org/